love, tiffany: About Me

Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts

Ihad never planned on going to university and although a lot of people continuously tell me that I should have at least tried it before deciding on not to go, I still believe that it will never be for me. My decision upon finishing college was very much based on the state of my mental health at the time. I knew that after seeing how badly college affected my mental health that university wasn't the right path to take. Believing in doing what I want, not what others expected of me really helped me to make my decision and despite hearing 'you're missing out on the best three years of your life' time and time again, I do not regret my decision one bit.

I can't stress how much I know myself and how much I know it isn't for me, and I try to explain to others that it wouldn't have been essential for what I want to do so going straight into full time work was the experience that I wanted instead, and I am happy with that. Sure, if I wanted a career in something that made it essential for me to have a degree or masters in something beforehand then I would have gone forward with it and tried my best.

I'm thankful that the majority of my family were understanding and wanted me to do whatever made me happy, so I am quite relieved that no one tried to push me into university. I suppose with me being extremely stubborn, hard-headed and independent that they all knew there was no way they could change my mind.

The only thing they said to me, especially my dad and grandparents, was to always use my love for art and writing and to never let go of that. Of course though, it's what I want my future to be based around.

I feel like I have finally become the laid back person that I have always wanted to be when it comes to life in general. I know it may sound irresponsible, but to plan every step of my life and follow those exact steps, every day, month, year of my life until I take my last breath and never doing the things that I want just seems crazy to me. Let me follow my own path, let me be lazy at times, let me work my ass off getting what I want in MY own way. There's no need to question me why I haven't followed suit to everyone. I'm doing my thing just like everyone else, it's just that this just so happens that university wasn't in my path and I don't think I have to go and that it's completely crazy that I'm not going. I definitely stand by the 'I'm young, there's no need to rush anything' saying. I'm happy. Yes, I have some life changing things happening but I'm happy and financially stable despite me not being in my dream career just yet, but that's completely okay with me. I'm confident that I will get to where I want to be, I'm just doing it at my own pace because I know what's right for me and what I can handle.

Last thing that I wanted to say (sorry for going on and on!) someone in work who was leaving to go back to university last year asked me 'don't you want to be successful, though?' because I had said that university wasn't for me, but my answer is this...

Success to me isn't having money, a wonderful house and car or a fancy job - apparently wanting to be a tattooist and writer isn't good enough. It's being happy doing what I'm doing and finally learning to love and and enjoy my life. Plus, not attending university isn't the end of the world, it just means I'm taking a different path, and that's okay.

Thank you for reading, I would love to hear everyone's thoughts or maybe even what you've decided your path is. Or, even if you really disagree with me and things I'm totally nuts, leave a comment because I appreciate everyone's thoughts.

Until next time, be you and keep smiling.

I turned 18 a week ago and initially I was going to post this then as a birthday post, however I guess you can say I've been putting it off, but after reading it a couple times and having my friend convince me it's okay, I'm finally posting it.

Dear 13 year old Tiffany,

When I decided to peer into the looking glass which cast a light upon you, I saw a shy, introverted and afraid young girl who feels lost on this long path which is life. I realised that there are so many things I wish you knew, some of which may have helped you for the better.

First of all, there are good people in this world, the ones who support you, make you smile and laugh, and they never give up on you even when at times it feels like they should, and then there are the toxic and negative people in this world who thrive to make only themselves happy and don't care about who they hurt in the process. The toxic people won't seem toxic at first. In fact, you will believe that they're your best friends and you will fail to realise how their negativity is affecting you. Two things you must know - Always take care of yourself and remove yourself from any negative and unhealthy relationships. If someone is making you feel bad about yourself, cut ties with them. Putting yourself first isn't a bad thing. The second thing, it might not seem like it right now but there are good people out there. You'll eventually find the people you were supposed to be friends with. You'll find a little group of friends who always want what's best for you, will include you in everything, will support you with your future goals and will always be honest with you. It'll be bumpy at times but that's how friendship groups work. But the best thing is? You'll be happy and you will be friends with these absolute idiots for a very long time.

I wish you knew how talented you are and that it's okay to be proud of yourself, to embrace everything about you and to not worry about what others think about you. Your mind is such a powerful tool, use it. Keep using your imagination, you know you've always had an interesting one, you'll realise eventually that it's one of your best qualities.

I know you have a passion for writing and drawing, don't lose sight of that. It's your strongest side and that's something to be proud of. And you know what the cool part is? You will use it and you won't settle for anything you don't like. Your determination will be your best friend for the most part. To summarise, don't lose sight of those big dreams that the people around you are being negative about, fight for what you want.

I wish you knew that there's beauty within you and you shouldn't be too concerned about the beauty on the outside. You're beautiful in your own way, so look after yourself because I know that right now you're in a bad place. Hard times are ahead, some worse than others, but believe me when I say this - there are people here for you. Your friends - online and in real life, your family, they all love and support you. And you will get past every obstacle you face no matter how impossible it may seem.

So here's the thing, I could continue to write about the things I wish you knew. But do you know what? I realise now that it doesn't matter anymore. Everything that has happened has made me the person I am today. And although I may not be fully content with myself yet, (note, the optimism now?), I'm going to be okay. You're, going to be okay. You've got a long way to go, it'll be a bumpy ride but I can assure you it is worth it. At the end of the dark tunnel that seems daunting and never ending, there's the brightest light that you could ever imagine and boy does it feel good on your skin. You'll do things you never thought you were ever capable of doing or lucky enough to experience, you'll meet some great people, and some bad, but you're okay. You will always be okay.

And in case you were wondering, things with your mother still aren't fixed and don't be too down-hearted when you learn that they may never be. I know that this is one of the reasons why you're feeling so lost, but you have to understand that not everything is fixable. You'll learn that the person, the mother, you've always wished for and thought she could be despite how much she's hurt you, will never be there. Unfortunately, not everyone in this world is capable of change. But it's okay.

Not everything works out the way you want them to, but that's life. But I now realise why people say 'everything happens for a reason' - that's because it does. Things must fall out of place for the better things to fall into place.

Remember; you can always paint the roses red. You'll know what I mean soon.

Love you always and forever supporting you,

Your future self.

(Oh, and by the way? Stop posting things on Facebook. In fact, delete your account. You'll thank me later.)