Self Confidence

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Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and the trust in one's abilities, qualities and especially, judgement. 

At some point in our lives, each of us have lacked in self-confidence and have doubted ourselves from time to time, which maybe lead to us missing out on opportunities and new experiences because we didn't believe we were good enough — I know I have... but that can change. Over time you can build your confidence — it is possible!

For this blog post, I'm just going to write a few paragraphs of all the things that have helped me with building my self confidence. I hope that I can help some of you in some way or another.

First of all, please know that you are stronger than any negative thought that may consume you. You can overcome anything and everyone has to start from the beginning at some point. Tell yourself this whenever you are doubting yourself. Say it out loud and slowly - or in your head - every time you doubt yourself. This is something I learned to do and still do now. It helps me relax and to think clearly. The first time this helped me was when I was about to do my first ever shift at work. I realised then that literally everyone has had to start at the beginning, almost clueless, on their first day at work and I ended up enjoying the shift.

Identify and write down new positive beliefs about yourself, whether it be something you like about yourself or something that you do, or something positive that another person has said about you. For example, "I am a good listener," "I am really good at cooking,". It can be anything! But the important thing is NOT TO QUESTION OR DOUBT YOURSELF. If you think you're great at maths, english, art, sports, cooking, counting, languages, walking dogs, designing, researching, tweeting, playing an instrument, or anything else at all, (the list is infinite!!) WRITE IT DOWN. Try and aim for 3-5 things on your list, and then start adding more to your list whenever you want. This helps to recognise your strengths.

Learn to say 'no'. This was a huge problem for me when I was in school not long ago. Somehow, to the people I didn't usually talk to, I just couldn't say no. I felt like I had to say yes to other people even though I didn't want to. Of course I didn't always say yes, but my point is to remember that you have a voice, so please use it. For example, if you don't want to take part in something, just say no.

Build positive relationships. Try and surround yourself with those who like you for who you are, there's nothing worse than being around people that you have to hide yourself away from. Be the real you around the people who love you for you are. Surround yourself with good people and positive influences and those who will encourage, support and bring the best out of you.

Be kind to yourself. This is one of the most important things to remember. Your own inner critic may not always say nice things about you, but you have to turn the negatives into positives. If you are at work, for example, and you feel like you can't complete a task that you have been given and all you can think is "I can't do it, I'm not good enough," then tell yourself the complete opposite — that you CAN do it and you ARE good enough. The advice you give yourself should be the advice you give to others — kind, gentle, supportive and encouraging. Be your own best friend because way too often we are uncaring and unsupportive of ourselves which really knocks our self-esteem, and if you think about it we can be so loving towards others, but unfortunately sometimes we forget to be loving to ourselves. Remember that you are just as important as those around you.

And finally, each month give yourself a challenge. It can be anything — something that you are slightly afraid of doing due to lack of self-esteem. Work your way up to it, take small steps and eventually you will overcome that challenge. And I'm sure that once you've completed a challenge you will feel so relieved.

Self confidence comes easy for some but for many others, it can be a huge struggle. Be kind to those around you and most importantly, be supportive and encouraging as everyone needs a little boost now and then.

You are talented, special, beautiful, unique, smart, funny, kind, great, valuable, creative, accepted, amazing, not a mistake, loved. You are YOU. Embrace every part of you and remember that you are worth it and are capable of so much more than you think.

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Thank you for reading!


Until next time, be you and keep smiling.

- T .x